In the several classes and workshops I’ve offered about the years on the artwork of erotic interaction, the most common problem I’m questioned is:

“Can you give me some ideas on how I can get about my self-consciousness about applying erotic converse with my lover?”

My respond to is an emphatic of course!

There are a number of methods to support you and your companion really feel additional at simplicity communicating about your sexual needs and desires. Once you develop into comfortable with some of these mild methods of putting your sensual thoughts into words, then the more “sophisticated” kinds of verbal erotica, this kind of as talking “dirty” or sharing wild fantasies, will come a lot simpler.


You may well come across it in the beginning easier to request your lover for feedback as to how he or she is taking pleasure in your caresses, alternatively than disclosing your personal point out of arousal. This kind of questioning will excite your companion, if it is accomplished with a sensual, intimate tone in your voice and a legitimate fascination in your lover’s responses.

You may possibly begin by stroking her or him in two unique regions of the overall body or in two various methods (probably very gently and then far more firmly), then asking in a delicate voice or whisper, “Which feels greater…..this…..or this?” Or you may well inquire, “What section of your human body would most delight in some loving interest ideal now?” or “Would you like me to go my arms frivolously alongside your system like this…..or with extra force…like this, or “Would you exhibit me with your possess hands how you want to be touched?
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This kind of questioning can have many advantages. Very first, it offers you practical comments as to your partner’s sexual desires or preferences. Next, it displays your lover that you treatment about his or her precise sexual needs. 3rd, if you are definitely creative about where by and how you contact your lover, it produces a temper of delightful anticipation. Fourth, the fascination and pleasure of finding out precisely what turns your husband or wife on, will terminate or neutralize any self-consciousness or “silent” lover tendencies.

two. EROTIC Feedback